good excellent mother her friend is AND every time she talks about her friend she has to add in, "she's the most excellent mother I know!" For example, "Sally**, you know? My friend that is the most excellent mother I know, well, she, blah blah blah!" "My friend, Sally, not only is she the most excellent mother I know, she is the best cook too!" "My friend, Sally, that is the most excellent mother I know, and the most excellent cook, she was telling me that blah, blah, blah!" Ugh!!! I admire the fact that my friend admires her friend so much, but still does she have to say that. every. single. freaking. time? Especially when she knows I struggle and strive to be an excellent mother. Let me clarify, by struggling I mean I am a working mother and so you have to find a good balance with work, home, being a partner and a mother - if we could just take work out of the equation that'd be awesome and that's for another post. Anyway, then I strive to be the most excellent mother to M while I also strive to be a kick ass employee, partner, friend, sister, daughter, just thank God I am not a aunt right now! ; )
So I asked myself, when I really should be asking my friend, what makes a mother excellent? So excellent that you could say, "she is the most excellent mother I know" every time you speak of said woman!
Then I started thinking that if this mother is excellent then this is the best she will ever be and that is not good enough for me. I am a good mother, a dang good mother with room for improvement and growth and that woman will just have to settle as excellent for the rest of her life. I will be a word much bigger than excellent some day!! And I will wait for my child(ren) to tell me what that word is and not some co-worker. I want to hear it from my kid's mouth - that be more rewarding to me than anything!
** names have been changed to protect the Best Mother's identity.
Sometimes....................
...... I let my M have a sugary treat before dinner!
.................... I let her M stay up as late as she wants. She's bound to get tired sometime, right!?!
.................. I swear in front of M and pray that this is not the time she decides to copy what I say.
....................... I kiss her cute little face for 5 minutes straight. I gotta take advantage while I can.
............. I get sad when I think of the day that M says she hates me.
........................ I dream about putting M in a big bubble to keep her safe from this crazy world.
................ I wish I became a mother sooner when I was young and had more energy.
...................... I sneak M some cookie dough when baking cookies, it tastes SO yummy!!
............ I want to move to the Amish country and escape this crazy, fast-paced society!
................ I have to pinch myself to make sure that M is not just a dream come true!
.......... I can't thank God enough for giving me the blessing of being M's mommy.
............... I feel like a failure.
...................... I know that I am doing the best I can and that has to be good enough.
............ as a mom I feel so alone and wonder if all the mom's are hanging out without me.
But I always, always know how lucky I am. Always.
There is nothing more, in my book, that makes you feel like a Mediocre of a Mommy then having to care for a sick child. Last week my daughter got sick, I mean really sick, for the first time ever. I knew how blessed I was and especially know how blessed I truly am to have a healthy child! That was the absolute worst thing!!
Of course it was on a Monday that M got sick. I could tell she wasn't herself when I woke her up, but I thought it was her teeth that were bugging her and I dropped her off at my Grandma's since Michael was working. It was a typical busy Monday and I had an afternoon meeting that I was in for over an hour, came back to my office and had a message to call my Grandma A.S.A.P. - my heart raced. I called my Grandma and she said "Your baby is really sick! She is throwing up!" Well I started crying and flew out the door of work. Luckily my bosses seemed pretty understanding. It seemed like the longest drive to get to my baby! When I arrived she was just sitting in my Grandma's lap with her big beautiful eyes full of tears. She didn't smile or even move when I arrived. She just sat there and stared at me, it was heart breaking!
Well I took her to the doctor and felt so bad for her having to be checked and prodded when she had a fever of 104 and all she wanted to do was go home, cuddle and watch cartoons. I don't feel like a total Mediocre of a Mom just yet, but it's coming.
We finally get home after an hour and a half at the doctor's. I did everything the doctor said but added lots of extra love. Well just around bedtime M got a burst of energy and was acting 1,000% better and I even said to Michael, "so I guess I can go to work tomorrow!" He said that it could come back - whatever!! Well he was right, it did come back. I checked on M at 3:30 a.m. and she was on FIRE!! Then I couldn't go back to sleep on debating whether or not to wake her up to give her meds or what. Ok so I felt helpless right about then and pretty much Mediocre.
I let M continue sleeping until she woke up naturally. She was still on fire. I called into work for the next two days to care for M. My days would have been easier going to work. M just wanted to be held and I loved holding M, but it made it challenging to use the restroom, get a drink or make meals and bottles. Needless to say I didn't shower for 2 days!!
M's fever finally broke at around 4:30 a.m. Wednesday morning. Poor girl! She was sleeping on my chest that night and she was a little heater, but I could tell right when it went away as we both immediately cooled down.
I am SOOOOO thankful to have an exceptional healthy, beautiful baby, I am thankful to have a job where I have health benefits and paid time off to care for my child, I am thankful to have such a wonderful mother and Grandmother that are always so willing to help, I am thankful to have a supportive and helpful partner and with out all of these things I would have felt much less than Mediocre.
I never want my daughter to get sick again!
Saddest. Thing. Ever.
So I have always been pretty lenient with bedtime, I guess, some would say. I work Monday thru Friday from 8am to 5pm, so I want to spend every minute that I am home with my little one and therefore
We have no routine. No set schedule.
I just may have heard some gasps!
There I said it and I'll say it again.
We have no routine. No set schedule.
M has more of a schedule/routine during the day, but come time when mom gets home from work there is no routine or set schedule and guess what!? I like it that way. I do! I know we'll all make it to bed eventually.
M is done napping by the time I get home or by 6 p.m.at the latest and then we do whatever the hell we want. We may go out to dinner, we may order pizza, dad might make something, we might snack and play then eat at 9 p.m., we sometimes watch cartoons after dinner 'til bedtime, sometimes M goes to G-ma's and we go on a date.
Then what we do is we all go to bed at the same time or chances are M goes to bed when she is tired around 10 p.m., 11 p.m. at the latest - weekends are an exception. I just see it that if we're awake why not all hang out together.
This non-schedule works for us, it doesn't affect mine and my partners sleeping or not sleeping if you know what I mean!
Do what works best for you, your child, your partner and your family. Then guess what works even better for us!?!? M will sleep in too and that is awesome.
I just think it's so easy for other mom's to tell you that their child goes to bed at such and such time and they never make any exceptions, well that just doesn't sound practical or fun. M is so flexible. Granted I know that a bed time will be put into place when M is in school, but you have your whole life for schedule/routine so live it up while you can!
Having a strict bed time when your child is so young and not meeting that bed time is just another reason to beat yourself up. Take it easy. Relax and enjoy time with your family. You can sleep when your dead. Kids grow so fast! Take and enjoy every minute together.
Oh and even when Maizy does go to bed early I still never make it to bed before 11 p.m. I swear!!
