So, um, where's the manual?

I am not sure if this is a real book, but even a manual couldn't prepare you for being a mommy.

When you are pregnant there are books that tell you what to expect and how to soothe any discomforts due to pregnancy if any.  I had a pretty slick pregnancy - even though I was put on bed rest due to my high blood pressure.  That's the thing with high blood pressure a.k.a. The Silent Killer - you feel fine!  Sure you have a headache here and there but not bed rest worthy.

Then the actual labor part was a breeze even though I was on magnesium - it makes you feel like you have the flu.  I couldn't wait to get off that shit!  Then to only be on it for 5 more days AFTER the birth of my daughter.  Another story.  Another time. Anyway, I pushed like 5 times and my beautiful daughter entered the world.  She took my breathe as she was taking her first.  I couldn't believe what me and my partner had created and that she was ours. Forever and ever.

Then I kept reminding myself that. She is mine forever and ever.  Wow!! That's a really long time.  Will she like me that long?  Won't she get sick of me?  What are we supposed to do for that long?  How do I be her mother and teach her to do a lot of things opposite of what I did?  How do I get to be her friend too?  How will I handle the first time she slams a door in my face?  Or yells and says she hates me?  Um, so yeah, where's the manual for this thing?

I decided to let pondering the answers to all those questions subside and just take it all in.  I was in love with the most precious thing God has given me.  God really loves me this much to give this beautiful, precious life?  Wow, what a wonderful, forgiving and loving God I have!?!  Holy shit!?!?! 

I just knew that I didn't want to let my daughter, God, my partner or family down and just be the best mom I can be.

Long story short, so far, so good.  I think I am a pretty good mom. I think it's others that may make you feel mediocre.  I have to remember a lot as a person, we all do and especially as a moms - phone numbers, passwords, doctors appointments, to put gas in the car, to pump your breasts so that you aren't in a shit ton of pain during your 2 o'clock meeting, to not feed your child honey - not until they are 2 - that's a long time to remember that one, anyway, there is A LOT!!!!!  And all of this can be very, very overwhelming at times, but to stay somewhat sane, I just did everytihng the best I could, the best I knew how and didn't sweat the small stuff!!

I mean do we really read the manual's to things?? Don't we try it first then if it fails refer back to the manual and even then skipping to the pages that look relevant?? Yeah I thought so!  So I guess that has been my approach to this mommy thing too!

I have a friend that is super anal -  reads all of the mommy blogs and emails "what your child should be doing!"  and if her child is not doing what that email says he should be doing at week 12 or what have you she takes him to be tested just to make sure that everything is ok with him!!  Ugh!!  And these are silly things like "your 1 year old should be able to repeat the alphabet not only forwards but backwards too!"  Really!?!?  Who are these people that write these things!?!  Frankly when I get those emails and see all the spelling errors, the stupid ass topics they discuss or the freaking ridiculous other mother's questions I stop reading right there and then.  And so should you.  We are all different.  We all have different learning styles and that goes for children too!  My daughter may do things way sooner than most, because she is super advanced of course, or I just wait it out and eventually she'll do it.

I have a story about this.  M was given a teddy bear that had buttons on it, made sounds and gave verbal instructions on what buttons to push and when.  Well the tag on the toy said it was for ages 0-3 months.  Well M reached 3 months and still didn't know how to interactively play with the toy and I was secretly upset.  I thought to myself, "is M not smart? I mean I know she's smart, but why doesn't she play with this toy like she is supposed to? Oh no!!! Oh no!!!!"  And I started freaking out.  Then M's cousin came over, found the bear and LOVED it.  The cousin barely (no pun intended) knew how to play it and was 2 years old!!  Whew!! My worries were over.  The toy was dumb and was clearly intended for old children.  Do you get my point? 

Just be patient.  Don't be psychotic.  Roll with the punches and everything will be ok. Let your baby be a baby.  Don't rush things and that naturally happens and they grow up way too fast!

Don't sweat the small stuff.  Do what you feel is right.  Listen to that mommy intuition and the worst you will be is mediocre. ; )