What to do? What to do?

Kids. Kids. Kids.  They are everywhere.  Now that I am a mom I definitely admire, adore and respect kids more than I ever have in my life.  I just feel bad that kids I knew before now didn't stand a chance with me. I knew that when I had kids of my own it would be completely different and I would love them to the ends of the earth and back and that couldn't be more true.  I have adored some of my cousins and some of my friends kids but not all mind you.  

I guess I still have this crazy fucked up mentality.  For example, when my daughter was born.  Actually rewind that, before my daughter was born she had my heart and now she really has it and my heart is walking outside my body.  That is crazy shit!  I love my daughter SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much that she brings tears to my eyes on a daily basis and then when I am drinking it's even worse! I love that kid.  She held my heart in her little hand the minute she was born and placed in my arms for the first time.  But see this all makes sense to me because she was and still is a bad ass!  She is beautiful, perfect, funny, smart, kind, loving, passionate, caring and is just such a bad ass, it's no wonder that I am crazy about her as well as her father, two grandma's, two grandpa's her aunt, the cashiers at the grocery store and her pediatrician.  

Ok so now we have it covered that I don't like all kids, mine is a bad ass and now do I have another?  I am so torn.  Women pop out babies like it's "no thang!"  Do they not worry about money?  If they can mentally or physically handle another child?  Money?  College?  Money?  How it will affect the other child(ren)?  Money?

Having one child was a huge accident decision in itself, so to think to have more is an even bigger accident decision.  I have some how convinced myself to bite the bullet and have another child even though no one can give me an legitimate reason as to why to have more than one child other than "they will be lonely if their father and I are in a freak accident and both die at the exact same time!!"  Um, there are 7 billion people in this world I doubt they will ever be lonely.  "They will have a playmate!"  Um, sometimes the last person in the world you want to play or share secrets with is your stinky, sweaty brother or fat snitch-bitch of a sister - for the record I have neither - my sister is skinny, but statistically speaking.  

I have decided to have another child for nothing but selfish reason's only.  My mom had two kids. I want two kids.  I want to have another person out there besides myself and my daughter that thinks I am the bees knees.  

I get my IUD removed September 11th.  Wish me luck!

Sincerely,

Mediocre of a Mommy.

Clean House

It's come to my attention that those that have super clean homes obviously neglect their children. 

It's a fact.